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What “Being Fat” Has Taught Me

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Hello All!

I just celebrated a birthday (I’m keeping the number a secret – for now!) and I’ve been reflecting on the changes I’ve gone through in the last few years.

After a car accident two years ago, I injured my back and my ability to exercise got compromised. My weight went up, my size grew from a size 12 to a 14/16, and I realized that I had become fat.

At first, my size depressed me. I felt unsexy and undesirable. Not being able to go into just any store and find my size added to my funk.

I’m a strong believer that “everything happens for a reason,” and I’ve learned lessons and developed a stronger sense of compassion throughout this chapter in my life.

1. Size Doesn’t Equate Sexiness.

After I discovered blogging and found sites such as The Curvy Fashionista, Daily Venus Diva, and Tess Munster, there are a LOT of sexy, confident, and inspirational curvy women out there. They own their size and make it work. I’ve learned that it’s not my shell that’s sexy; it’s the way I own it! I wasted time during my smaller days obsessing over “needing to lose 10 lbs” versus living in the moment. I won’t obsess any more.

2. Fashion is Still Fun!

True, there are some retailers I can’t shop from now. However, I’ve discovered Forever 21 Plus, Deb, Asos Plus, Elloquii, H&M, and Zara. Thankfully, more retailers are getting on board and adding additional sizes with fashion-forward styles. I’m so glad I can still enjoy clothes!

Werk!

Werk!

3. Don’t Hide.

Fat people (especially women) have been conditioned to be ashamed of their bodies. We don’t want to draw attention, we hide in bulky clothes, and walk around as if apologetic for our size. I’ve learned that life does not stop because I’ve gained weight. I still have a voice and talent to contribute. If someone seems uncomfortable because I’m fat, that’s their issue. I can’t control that. However, I can control how I deal with my weight day to day.

4. Everyone Has Body Issues!

Recently, the Hubby and I went to a cookout that his work was hosting. The event took place by a beach, so naturally a number of people were swimming and sunning. What struck me was the number of body self loathing comments from these fit military people! These weren’t the “competitive” type of body comparison comments (I’m so fat – no, you’re not, I’m fat!), but a sincere wistfulness to look better. I realized we all have our body issues. Isn’t it a shame we can’t “just be”?

So, the takeaway for me is -

Sure, I would like to lose weight. My energy would be better, it’s easier on my back (which is doing much better!), and it’s good for my overall health. I believe that I will end up losing weight as I continue to get stronger. But, I’m not going to stop fully living my life or being happy because I’m fat.

And if I do go down in size, I’m not going to cringe at my pictures or “fat shame” myself. I am still ME!

I hope we all can embrace who we are for what we are!

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WHAT I’M WEARING:

Maxi Dress – FOREVER 21 PLUS

Necklace – H & M

Sandals – FOREVER 21

Bra – VICTORIA’S SECRET

Earrings – thrift shop find!

Love, laughter, and shoes -

xx Melanie!

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You Say It’s My Birthday…” Time for a GIVEAWAY!

IT’S TIME TO CELEBRATE!

This is a BIG week! It’s my birthday on Tuesday, plus I hit over 3,000 views here yesterday!

As a thank you to you all, I am hosting my very first giveaway!

So excited!

So excited!

SOOO…I picked up this adorable Eiffel Tower necklace in Paris, and I’ve been holding on to an extra one for my readers!

Love the delicate tower!

Love the delicate tower!

AND….you can’t possibly rock a Parisian necklace without a red lip, so here’s a sample size of Cynthia Rowley Lipstain in Valentine PLUS Evologie Stay Clear Cleanser to keep your face soft and blemish free this summer!

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THIS IS AN INTERNATIONAL GIVEAWAY, so enter now! JUST CLICK ON THE “PARISIAN GIVEAWAY” on the sidebar:)

My new peplum top and leggings!

My new peplum top and leggings!

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Casanova, the Photobombing Cat!

Casanova, the Photobombing Cat!

WHAT I’M WEARING:

Peplum Top – FOREVER 21 PLUS

Floral Leggings – FOREVER 21 PLUS

Sandals – MADDEN GIRL

Good Luck to everyone!

Love, laughter, and shoes…

xx Melanie.

 

 

 

 

Vintage inspired by Modcloth!

Vintage inspired by Modcloth!
I’m drooling over this dress! Modcloth challenged me to create a couple of different ways to style it, so I did a night (left) and day look.
The two things I love about Modcloth? One, the styles are unique and affordable, and two, their styles come in a wide range of sizes!
WHAT? A RETAILER THAT CATERS TO WOMEN OF ALL SIZES?!! Scandalous!
Here’s where you can find everything!
Now…I just need to convince The Hubby that these things are necessary:)

Long black dress
modcloth.com

Peacock pumps
modcloth.com

Darling black purse
modcloth.com

Black handbag
modcloth.com

Chain necklace
modcloth.com

Gemstone jewelry
modcloth.com

Turquoise jewelry
modcloth.com

Vintage jewelry
modcloth.com

A Milestone: My First Sponsor!

Happy Sunday, All! You know the saying, “timing is everything”? Well, just as I was thinking about getting a third tattoo for my upcoming birthday, Meg from TT Tattoo (The Temporary Tattoo Store) reached out to me about joining their Blogger Affiliate Program!

My first sponsor! Yay!!

Not only do I love a great tattoo, but I love the idea of custom designing your own tat that’s temporary! That way, you can test drive it before committing the time, pain, and money for a permanent one!

TT Tattoo has ready made designs as well that are sized for your ankle, finger, hand, neck, arm, leg…just about anywhere!

I’m a singer, and would rock this one:

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And this one too, because I’m a crazy cat lady!

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Want to give these tats a try? Just click on the banner on the right!

THANKS, TT TATTOO! I appreciate the opportunity!:)

Bloggers – who were your first sponsors? With who have you had great working relationships? Comment below!

 

Love, laughter, and shoes (and tats!) -

xx Melanie.

 

FINALLY, shorts that FIT. Thanks, Deb Shops!

What is “Plus Size,” Anyway?

“She’s too small to be plus sized.”

I’ve read that response quite often whenever a designer or a magazine features a plus size model. Granted, some of these models are 5’10 and wear a size 12, which in the “real world,” would be considered “straight size.”

However, I just stumbled across a tweet from The Curvy Fashionista (@MarieDenee), where she posts a link from retailer Addition Elle, which asks,

“What is Plus Size?”

Addition Elle’s philosophy on the issue hits the nail on the head for me:

“Plus size” includes a range of shapes and sizes. Some women are short, some are tall, some have wide hips, some have straight hips, some have larger busts, some have smaller busts…but regardless of their features, they have one thing in common.

What is it? Well, that clothing in “traditional” sizes does not fit them, for whatever reason.”

Case in point: I have the WORST time buying shorts. They are usually too tight in the hip, or too loose in the waist. For some reason, I’m in a “no woman’s land” as a size 14.  I don’t want booty shorts or Daisy Dukes. I guess designers must think I want elasticized, pull on polyester shorts (BLEAH!). Apparently, a mid thigh, stylish denim pair in my size is just not possible.

Then I wonder:

But what about a woman who is a size medium on top (say, an 8 or 10), and is pear shaped (a size 12 or 14) on the bottom? Or someone who is a 12 on the bottom, and wears a 38 DD on top? According to the size charts, she’d be “plus size.”

It’s all a bit nuts. 

Men’s fashion is not complex. Pants are the waist size, shirts are the chest/neck measurement. If a guy is larger, he goes to the Big and Tall department.

Why can’t women’s fashion convert to such a system?

By the way, after a lot of searching, I DID finally find a pair of denim shorts! I found these from DEB.

Stylish, comfy, and fit great!

DEB Shops, you get the gold star.

FINALLY, shorts that FIT. Thanks, Deb Shops!

FINALLY, shorts that FIT. Thanks, Deb Shops!

I may be "plus size," but I have a great ass.

I may be “plus size,” but I have a great ass.

Got this tank from Deb, too. I'm showing my arms off, would you believe?

Got this tank from Deb, too. I’m showing my arms off, would you believe?

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Handmade glass ring from Venice!

Handmade glass ring from Venice!

Love me some gladiator sandals!

Love me some gladiator sandals!

I’d love to read your thoughts on what “plus size” is, or anything on your mind!

Love, laughter, and shoes!

xx

 

 

 

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Forever 21 Jumpsuit – Italian Style

Ready to take Rome at night!

Ready to take Rome at night!

Hello all! Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans, and a belated Happy Canada Day! Hope you all are enjoying the summer!

Who is loving jumpsuits this season?!! Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I would look good in one of those, but Forever 21 Plus makes great jumpsuits! So comfortable and very affordable (this one was $21.99!). They are perfect for day or night, and I can dress them up or down.

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For sightseeing in Venice during the day, I paired the jumpsuit with this flowy JollyChic top.

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Love the lacy detail in this top!

Love the lacy detail in this top!

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While in Italy, I saw quite a few women of all shapes rockin’ the jumpsuit. Floral and tribal prints seem to be the most popular.

Have you rocked a jumpsuit this summer? Show me pics or send me a link in the comments!

Love, laughter, and shoes -

xx Melanie.

Lido sunset