Ready, Set, Reset! (Or not- That’s Ok)

2019! 🎉🎉🎉

Does that number sound bizarre? For me, it sounds like a “Jetsons” era year. So,  where are the flying cars? 😂

Actually, I’m excited for a new year. 2018 was incredibly challenging for me, emotionally and physically. I said goodbye to a lot of friends in Guam, moved to California, dealt with months of unemployment, experienced a sudden loss in our family, learned I have fibromyalgia,  and spent the last few months wondering if I had breast cancer. Two biopsies later, I found out that I am cancer free (the questionable area was an overgrowth of cells). Thank God!

Learning the news that I didn’t have cancer made me feel as if I’d been handed a golden ticket.  Like I was told, “here is a free pass to do whatever you want.” My resolutions aren’t necessarily resolutions,  but more about the choices I make. I’m not wasting time any more on frivolous things or worrying about issues I have no control over changing.  I’m not letting toxic energy from other people dampen how I feel or what I choose to do.

For instance:

1. Revisiting a Dream. I’m a singer, and not to brag, but I’m pretty decent at it. I spent years in musical theater, sang for special events, and have taught several students over the years. As I’ve gotten older,  I let the idea go that I’d ever get to record or appear on Broadway. However- when I saw that THE VOICE is auditioning singers in San Francisco, I signed up without  hesitation.  Why not? If I don’t try now,  then when? What’s a dream you’ve let go of? Maybe revisit it this year? Or maybe the dream accomplishment looks differently now?

2. Make a Passion My Work. Definitely the toughest struggle of being a military spouse is the constant changing of jobs every few years. I left a job teaching theater in Guam that I LOVED and I’ll admit that I mourned that loss pretty heavily. It’s hard to let go of something you’re passionate about. Looking back over this year, I know one of the reasons why I struggled with finding work is because I was chasing positions “I would be good at,” versus “what I’d be happy to do.” That being said, sometimes you have to do what you need to do to get by (and we’ve all been there and done that!). Being a theater professional definitely has taught me how to make my own opportunities. So, I signed up with a service (Musika) to match me with prospective voice students, and at my new job as a Youth Programs Instructor (!), I introduced my background to my supervisor, who was excited about the experience I have with performing arts. So- it may be possible I’ll get a job from the job I have! Do you have experience, skill, or a passion that could work for you? How could you implement it into what you currently do? Or how can you start a side gig? 

3. Find Alternative Ways to Exercise.  One of the most frustrating aspects of chronic pain is getting fit without making the pain worse. I have a double whammy of sciatica and fibromyalgia, which on some days I feel fine,  but once a flare happens, I can barely get around without pain. However, I am determined to be strong, feel confident, and be healthy.  I started doing more yoga based exercise,  Ballet Barre (which my dancer’s heart loves!), and looking at other body weight exercise. It’s not about being a particular weight or size for me anymore. It’s about how I feel and manage the pain easier.   Start easy. Listening to the body is important.  Celebrate your progress; don’t compare yourself to others.  

And yeah…

If you don’t feel like a “reset,” that’s ok too! 

Maybe you’re fine with what you have going on.  Or maybe you’re not ready to make changes.  It doesn’t matter. Sometimes the beginning of a new year can feel like pressure to change your life. Truth is, we can change it at any time.

So if you’re hitting the reset button, awesome! If not, that’s cool too!

Here’s hoping 2019 is a great one for all of us.

Looking forward to the flying cars!

Love, laughter, and lipstick (My new tagline!),

Melanie.

 

 

Biopsy 2: Electric Boogaloo

Forgive me for the title.  I’m an 80s kid and couldn’t resist.  😃

Cancer isn’t funny.  It sucks.  However, thinking you might have cancer, or are fighting cancer, sometimes having a dark sense of humor comes in handy. That’s how I’ve tried to handle things since starting down this road to finding out what the hell is in my boob.

Last Friday morning,  I took a step closer to solving this mystery of “That Odd Tentacle Thing in My Left Breast.”

First off, I’m wheeled down to Radiology to get another mammogram, so my doc can insert a wire in my breast to surround the questionable area.  This will help the surgeon to take out enough tissue to be tested.

Ah… the lovely Boob Smashing Machine.

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Dr. G and her assistant prepped me by inserting a numbing shot. “A prick and then a little burning,” Dr. G said.

little burning? I could feel my eyes water as I inhaled deeply as what felt like FIRE enter my breast! Thankfully, the burning passed quickly.  A young 20 something tech smiled at me emphatically as I winced.

“Now we’re going to insert the wire. Look straight ahead,” Dr. G gently warned me. No problem – I have zero desire to look at myself turning into Frankenboob.

After a few minutes, the procedure was done. The extra wire poking out of me was taped to my upper chest (I’m still numbed up), gauze packed on my underside area, and I was whisked away to surgery.

On my way to surgery, we passed my hubby in the waiting room.

He kissed me. “I love you.  It’s going to be all right,” he half whispered. “I’ll be here when you wake up. ”

After the nurses began inserting an IV,  getting additional info from me, and taking vitals, the anesthesiologist gave me a pill to prevent nausea. “I’ll get your medicine to make you sleepy; I’ll be right back,” she gently touched my shoulder.

For the first time since checking in, I was alone.  Suddenly, the room felt too big, this whole thing felt like too much. I wanted to leave. My hands began sweating.

WHAT IF YOU HAVE CANCER?

No,  I thought.  You’re not going to do that.  You’re not going to let IT win.  If I do have IT, then I’m fighting.  All The Way. You’re not going to let the Fear or Cancer take over your life, I swore to myself.

After the drugs were administered, I didn’t give a damn what happened. I was floating in bliss. Then, the oxygen mask was placed on my face.  “Take a few deep breaths for me. There you go.  Take another.”

“Melanie!” I heard a woman’s voice, followed by patting of my cheeks. “Melanie, wake up. ”

I open my eyes.  “You did great,” the nurse smiled.  “It’s all done. ”  That felt like 5 minutes!

It’s been a few days since the surgery.  My poor boob looks like Mike Tyson used it as a punching bag, and it aches.  No weights over 15 lbs, no bathing or hot tubs, and no raising my left arm over my head for a couple of weeks. By the way – I didn’t realize how much I used my left arm until I couldn’t raise it!

The doc said I should know the results in about a week’s time, but unlike the first Biopsy, I’m ready for whatever result will happen. In that surgery prep area, I killed off the What If. I am not afraid.

If Cancer is what I’m facing, then Cancer better strap in for a helluva fight! I’ll be ready to whip some ass.

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Love, laughter, and shoes-

Xo, Melanie.

 

 

 

How a Pimple May Have Saved My Life

It was annoying and wouldn’t go away. A mid sized blemish on my left breast popped up unexpectedly and just wouldn’t totally go away, even after using hypoallergenic soap and softer bras.

Out of ideas how to make it stop, I went to my doc to have the blemish examined.

“Hmmm. You’ve never had any like this before?” she asked.

“No. It’s the only one I’ve had on a breast, ever.”

“Well, it could be something for Dermatology to look at – but I’d like to get a mammogram done just to rule out things. When was your last one?”

My mind started to race. Did she think this was something serious? After I told her my last date, she continued. “I think it would be good just to have another mammogram done for comparison’s sake. Chances are, everything’s fine,” she reassured me.

Two weeks later, I stood at the not-intimidating-at-all mammography machine, ready to have my poor boob smushed.

“There! All done. I’ll have the Radiologist look at these real quick to see if he needs any more images. Be right back,” the cheerful tech chirped.

10 minutes passed. This seemed a little long. Then the door opened.

“Ma’am, we’d like to have a few more images done just to get a closer look,” the tech explained. “There’s nothing to worry about; the Radiologist just wants to be sure of what he’s looking at.”  Well…ok, I thought. Nothing to worry about, I told myself.

After wincing through another smushing, I sat and waited a few minutes. I had gotten mammograms done before and have never had to wait around – usually, it’s pics done, go home, and they’ll call or send results.

Then the door opened. Three people came in.

The tallest guy introduced himself as the Radiologist. Another doctor accompanied him with the cheerful tech, who wasn’t so chipper this time.

“Ma’am, after looking at your images, I’m seeing an usual area in the upper part of your breast. It’s not a lump, but it’s a little odd looking. It could be fibrous or scar tissue, so would you be able to stay and have an ultrasound done? We could probably get a better idea that way.”

Ok, I said. But inside, I thought – is this really happening? Is there something wrong? This was supposed to be a pimple.

Though I calmly laid on the table as the ultrasound took place, my mind swam. Don’t let your imagination get away from you, I told myself. They’re just being thorough. I tried to study the radiologist’s face as he rolled the device over me. I looked to the monitor to try and see what the others saw. The doctor pointed out a tiny area which looked like what I could best describe as “tentacles.”

“This doesn’t resemble a mass or a lump, but it is unusual,” the doctor said. “We are looking at a few options. One, we could do nothing now and do another ultrasound in a few months. Two, we could try and get a MRI to get a closer picture. However, we may not be able to get you scheduled for a month. Third, we could do a biopsy and have the tissue tested.”

“Do you think it’s cancerous?” I asked.

“That’s something a biopsy could rule out,” the doc said. So, I agreed.

Crazy enough, the area of concern wasn’t even the pimple in question! That pimple was most likely a clogged/infected hair follicle.

Jesus, I thought. What if I didn’t get this checked out? I wasn’t due for a mammogram for another eight months.

Unfortunately, the biopsy didn’t give a definite answer (and let me tell you – even though you are numbed up for the procedure – it is NOT fun. I was sweating buckets the whole time!). “Benign with unusual markers” was the official report.

My doctor, however, wants to know what those unusual markers are. I do, too. It could be nothing – but it could also be precancerous tissue, or Stage 0 breast cancer. She, along with my husband and I, decided it’s best to do another biopsy where a larger sample is taken to be tested (thankfully, I’ll be put under for this one!). The surgery takes place in a few days and I should know results in a week’s time.

I have never heard of Stage 0 before, but with the new technology available to several hospitals, images can be seen in 3D now, versus 2D. The hospital where I go has this technology, and it’s possible to catch cancerous activity in its earliest stages. Though I’m nervous, I am thankful this can be caught quickly.

My biggest takeaway from the whole situation is – Trust your instincts. When your body is doing something different from the norm, get it checked out! Though my annoying pimple had nothing to do with this situation, it was probably God’s way of sending me a signal before things potentially got out of hand.

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Women Over 40 – GET YOUR MAMMOGRAMS DONE. 

Here are some resources to find free or reduced cost mammograms: Free or Low Cost Mammograms

Or – try The National Mammography Program for facilities in your area: National Mammography Program

I share my story to spread awareness – don’t put off something that doesn’t feel right.

I am also so thankful for my rock, my partner, my love – he has been so supportive and  lets me cry, vent, or gets silly with me. I am blessed!

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Love, laughter, and shoes –

xo, Melanie.

Please Stop Hating Yourself!

Hello Lovelies,

Tonight I chatted with some friends in my Facebook Messenger, and the topic of our bodies came up. Some of the conversation went like this:

“I think I look gross. I did a boudoir for last year. And Had to wear something that covered my stomach and still hated how I looked in all of them. The photographer was amazing but ya…”

“I don’t have the balls to do a shoot-

I barely have sex with the lights on.”
“I’m just not comfortable with my body.”
These are mostly 20 and 30 something women who are absolutely gorgeous. Being good friends, we were telling one another how crazy we were to talk this way about ourselves (which was true! These ladies are HOT!).
But I remember that loathing. The feeling of not being good enough; judging myself in dressing room mirrors, cringing at the slightest extra few pounds on my stomach. Endless dieting. As a performer, I felt that extra pressure to achieve that coveted size 2-4 (and I did – but developed an eating disorder in the process).
I’m no longer living off the coffee and protein bars to stay small (thank God), and I’ve stopped the size obsession. It’s exhausting. Could I stand to lose some weight? Of course. I’m working on dropping some pounds, but I really just want to be healthy.
How did I stop the loathing? This quote from RuPaul did it:
“If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else?”
(can I get an “Amen” in here?)
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It’s true. Mama Ru knows a little something about acceptance! I finally had to learn to accept who I was, right then – not the “someday” version of Melanie I fantasized about. I deserve to be happy.
As women, we are fantastically hard on ourselves. We’re not tall enough, thin enough, curvy enough, busty enough, young enough, bootylicious enough. If it’s not our bodies we’re hating, it’s feeling like we don’t measure up as mothers, wives, or deserving of success.
PLEASE STOP.
Generally, men don’t do this to themselves. They work on their “trouble” areas, but the self loathing is not nearly as much as what women do to their self-esteem.
So, what do we do about it? Focus on things which we love about ourselves. Start by playing up those legs if you love those. Enhance your beautiful skin. Show off your shoulders. Let your hair hang down.  Give back to others. Surround yourself with those with good energy. Realize that all those models are airbrushed and photoshopped!
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If there’s one advantage to being a forty something, it’s that knowing that I am comfortable and fine the way I am. It took me a long time to get here, and I want to face the second half of my life feeling good.
Let’s give ourselves a break and enjoy life!!
Until next time –
Love, laughter, and shoes –
xo Melanie
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May Makeup Challenge and Marilyn

Hello lovelies!

I don’t know about you, but it’s so easy to fall into a rut when it comes to doing my makeup. Same colors, same techniques, and though the makeup looks fine – it can get borrriiing after awhile!

So I decided to join the #MayMakeupChallenge!

Each day is a new look or technique to try. I started a couple of days late into it, but today (the 3rd) is 50s Glam.

Marilyn Monroe was my first Girl Crush. When I was 17, I saw The Seven Year Itch during a Saturday afternoon movie on TV and I was struck by her ability to be sexy, funny, and vulnerable all at once. I was a fan. That Christmas, my parents gave me an “Complete Encyclopedia” of Marilyn – I cannot remember the name of the book-but I spent many days reading through the close to 1000 pages. Her look, style, and story influenced me in so many ways.

So I thought it would be appropriate to channel her for this first challenge.

Her look is simple, but a bit deceptive in its simplicity. It’s glam without looking “glam.” It’s all about luscious lips, lots of lashes, and carefully shadowed creases in the eyes.

I decided to go all in with her classic red lip! Here, I am wearing Limelight by Alcone’s Enduring Lipcolor in Candy Apple, a matte color, with Limelight’s Signature Jeweled Lipgloss in Love over it for that sexy pout.

Lashes for days!

I think there’s a little bit of Marilyn in all of us. Even a purple haired chick!

She was ahead of her time – championed having pale skin and curves. Marilyn did things her way, even if it was controversial or rattled cages. She wasn’t perfect and didn’t pretend to be. We can all relate to that.

Get the tools to my look here: Limelight by Alcone (chemical and cruelty free makeup and skincare, originally created for makeup professionals).

Tomorrow – Bold Liner!

Love, laughter, and shoes –

xo Melanie:)

Spring is Here – Refresh, Reboot!

Hafa Adai Lovelies!

SPRING! A time to clear away the blahs, to reassess goals, to clean out closets! Here in Guam it is an endless summer (which may sound great to a lot of you!). however, the weather can be a motivation killer. That “sameness” is kind of what has happened with me lately. The lack of a season change made me a bit stuck with my mindset and goals. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I noticed that I hadn’t written anything in awhile or planned something new. So – presto!

Presenting the new look to The Divine Mz M! I am back, baby! New beauty tips, reviews, fashion, fitness, body image discussions….and GIVEAWAYS! Yes!!

As of late, I have really worked on my makeup skills and started a side gig as a makeup artist! Being able to create while making someone feel amazing is such an fantastic feeling. If you are on Instagram, please check out my work and let me know what you think! @DivineMzMel

What are you planning to do differently this spring? I’m going to get more fit (planning on 15 more pounds gone by my July birthday), focus more time with friends, and saving cash towards a December trip to Australia!

I would love to know your goals!

Until next time –

Love, laughter, and shoes –

xo Melanie:)

The Truth About Getting Older!

Hello Lovelies,

I think the month of January ran by me without my realizing it. My every day life has been incredibly busy for a month straight – between teaching, doing parties, and now launching a new business with makeup and skin care (more to come on that later!!), I think my body decided to revolt!

Some of you know that I’ve become pretty passionate about getting healthy. For almost a year, I’ve watched my diet and worked out at least 3-4 times a week, focusing on a cardio/weight lift circuit. It’s worked out great, as I’ve lost 33 pounds. Pretty nifty keen, if I say so myself!

March 2016

March 2016

January 2017

January 2017

But here’s the thing. Though I am stronger and more fit, somehow my body decided maybe I was trying to do too much and as a result, my sciatic nerve GOT MAD last Saturday morning and the Hubby and I spent most of the day at the emergency room. So, imagine my frustration when I am told to rest for a few days and take medications for pain. UGH!

Besides all that, I am realizing that my eye sight is going downhill. More and more I am having to rely on my reading glasses – and that’s not such a bad thing, as my glasses are kinda cute, but damn….it means I am definitely getting older!

I want to tell all young women out there – CHERISH your bodies. Love them as they are; don’t wish for something else. Now that I am in my mid 40s, my beauty routine has become much more elaborate to fight gravity. More supportive bras, firming creams, regular masks and facials. Yes, I know – we all get older. However, it doesn’t mean I have to just let gravity and stress tell the story of my life! Call me vain, but I want to look as young as my heart feels.

Dress. LuLaRoe. Bag, Just Fab. Necklace, Premier Designs.

Dress. LuLaRoe. Bag, Just Fab. Necklace, Premier Designs.

I take care of my skin. No longer do I trust just anything to put on it – chemicals make me red and the inflammation ends up breaking down cells, causing loss of tone and creating wrinkles. I discovered a professional grade skincare and makeup line, LimeLight by Alcone, which uses no chemicals, is free of parabens, plus is cruelty free (which I especially love!). Check out my before and after! You can see more at my Facebook page: Giving Good Face by Melanie! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1069186336560621/

Left, last December. Right, Feb 3 2017 after using LimeLight by Alcone's skin care and makeup consistently. No photoshop or filters!

Left, last December. Right, Feb 3 2017 after using LimeLight by Alcone’s skin care and makeup consistently. No photoshop or filters!

So yes – physically, aging sucks. Over time, things wear out. However, one thing I know is true: With age, comes wisdom. I don’t get sucked into others’ dramas, I focus on what’s really important to me and my family, I believe kindness is much more effective and needed, and true friendships are precious and few. I have no patience for toxic people or situations.

Getting older has given me more confidence. I say what I mean, and mean what I say. I don’t have time for games. If I want to try something, I will do it. Appeasing others to save face doesn’t interest me. The cliche’ of “life is too short” becomes very clear as one gets older.

So, yes I’ll have to do more physical therapy, wear glasses more frequently, maybe pass on more commitments to reduce stress. However, I’ve got one life and I want to live it the best I can!

Until next time!

Love, laughter, and shoes –

xo, Melanie:)

 

Phrases I Hate

“Act your age.” “Ladies don’t act like that.” Those two phrases were ones I dreaded hearing when I was growing up.  I never truly understood what they meant, but now I am older, the context of those words make me cringe and upset. Why?

Because we direct them at girls. We expect them to mature faster and be quieter, more “ladylike” in demeanor. Their enthusiastic energy gets toned down, their “tomboyish” attitudes and activities looked at as something weird, or a “phase.”

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There’s a famous saying, “Well behaved women seldom make history.” To me, it means not being quiet when people are hurting.  To not accept poor treatment. To rise above expectations. To DO YOUR OWN THING, regardless of age.  I am in my mid 40s and still like amusement parks. I listen to everything from Rihanna to Skrillex and jazz too. Wearing crazy leggings makes me happy, and yes- my hubby is 12 years my junior. Some people might think I haven’t “grown up,” but on the contrary, I’m growing in experiences. If we stop trying new things, taking risks, or sharing an opinion, then you have stopped experiencing life.

So, to my fellow “ladies” out there: Stop apologizing for your ideas. Don’t second guess yourself.  Trust your instincts. Say what you mean.  Be brave and DO YOU!

Until next time,

Love, laughter and shoes-

xoxo, Melanie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking My Life Back From Depression

Hello Lovelies,

This post is a departure from my usual fashion/beauty chatter, but I want to share my journey with you. If I can offer hope to someone in the same situation, then this entry is worth it!

The panic attacks began sometime in early 2001. I was in a supermarket, just doing my normal shopping, when suddenly everything around me felt unreal. My heart started beating quickly, I broke out in a cold sweat, and I just felt….terrified. Am I having a heart attack?!! I was only 30; this couldn’t be happening.

And as soon as I grabbed on to my cart and took a deep breath, the weirdness disappeared and I felt okay again, though shaken.

However, over the next year these episodes would continue. The worst one happened while watching a play. “The Fear,” as I could only explain it as, took over me quickly and I sat in anguish, wanting desperately to leave the theater. I couldn’t understand it. What was happening to me?

panic Fry

I had a lot on my plate during that time. My final year of graduate school, an impending divorce, and uncertainty about the future. Perhaps all the stress was building to a climax with the panic attacks.

Over the next several years, I battled the attacks. The good news? These weren’t happening in random places as much. The bad news? They happened mostly when I drove. Talk about a BAD time to have a panic attack!

Oprah Panic

Finally I had enough. Though I wasn’t thrilled about taking medication, everything I had tried was not keeping the attacks at bay. I tried meditation, reducing caffeine, positive self talk…these were just temporary fixes. I got started on Lexapro and after a short time, the panic attacks stopped. I could drive without worry!

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Something shifted this year. After about six months living in Guam, I started feeling restless, edgy. My sleeping habits got out of whack. I had a brief feeling of “The Fear” aura, which luckily, I made stop before it snowballed into a full panic attack, but I knew I had to check this out.

I saw my doc and she upped my dosage. However, now I felt….heavy. Felt like I was walking in slow motion, thoughts would come and go quickly, and had the worst time trying to wake up in the morning.

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I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so down. I’m in FREAKING GUAM, one of the most beautiful islands on the planet! The sun, the beach, the laid back lifestyle – these are things I love. I have a good job I enjoy; a wonderful husband, two adorable kitties. What is weighing me down?

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My doc switched me to Wellbutrin. Now….I FEEL EVERYTHING. Maybe a bit too much (I almost bawled my eyes out in a restaurant!), but hopefully things will even out as I adjust.

However, along with the meds, I realized I needed a professional to walk me through this mental maze. I have to know what exactly what kind of depression I’m dealing with, the issues surrounding it, and how to manage the tougher moments. I have a therapist now. It’s a little scary and weird to open up to a stranger, but in a sense that’s what I would do as an actor. Though, telling the truth as a character versus unloading my thoughts to a stranger is completely different!

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Along with meds and therapy, I am serious now about nutrition and fitness. I’ve eliminated (or severely reduced) processed foods and watching my calorie intake. I do a lot more walking and yoga. The movement is challenging sometimes because I still have back issues, but I’m finding my way.

Clinical Depression is not just “the blues.” People who suffer from it can’t simply “get over it.” We know we have blessings in our lives. We know other people have worse situations than our own. These feelings we get don’t come from a logical place. It’s a chemical imbalance, and it’s very frustrating at times to figure out how to treat depression, since there is not a “one size fits all” diagnosis.

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Thankfully, the depression I deal with is not severe. I am hopeful that the intervention I gave myself will keep this illness from getting worse.

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I will win!

If you are suffering, or know someone who is, don’t be ashamed to seek help. 

Love, laughter, and shoes-

xo, Melanie.

 

 

 

 

More Boob, More Problems

Hello lovelies,

As many of you have probably noticed, I am a large breasted woman. I’ve been this way for most of my adult life. For the longest time, I wore a 36 C, then all of a sudden in my late 30s, they expanded to a 42 D. I blame the Hubby. I think he has a Jedi Mind Trick to do this.

My hubby loves me for me. I am very blessed.

Though breast enhancements continue to thrive, as any bountiful babe will tell you, more boob means more problems. I’ve come to the point where I’m seriously considering a breast reduction, much to the Hubby’s chagrin. Here’s just a sample of what I deal with all the time:

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Back Pain. I have a double whammy in this department, as I have nerve damage in my lower back from a car accident. Standing in long lines are not fun. Neither is wearing huge balloons on my chest, adding to the strain. This is the number one reason I want these reduced!

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I’m a Walking Hazard. Unlike my smaller sisters, my boobs have been known to be deadly weapons. When in a grocery store, I wince when I have to reach up to grab something because I’m probably going to knock over a few items in front of me. I also have to sit away from a dinner table to make sure my gozangas don’t knock over glasses!

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Working Out is a Joke. Jogging is absolutely out of the question. Doing Zumba or any kind of jumping around aerobics involves two heavy duty sports bras and a prayer than I don’t pull a breast muscle (which has happened, by the way). I might suffocate if I try doing Downward Facing Dog. If I hope to get into better shape, these big girls need to go!

Buying an Affordable Bra is Impossible. Problem one: Most stores don’t carry sizes above a 40. Problem two: I will count on having to spend at least $50 to get a decent, well fitting bra. The $20 Playtex ones are useless, plus ugly as hell.

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Fashion Can be Tricky.  Button down blouses? Forget about it. I haven’t worn one in six years. Any top without stretch is not going to happen. Plus anything lacy, includes ruffles or bows, or satin is not happening with large breasts. Strapless? Yeah, right!

Ariel Winter...Good for you girl, but I can't do that to myself.

Ariel Winter…Good for you girl, but I can’t do that to myself.

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Trying Not to Look Like a Porn Star. Every day, I constantly walk the line of “am I showing too much cleavage?” Don’t get me wrong – I own who I am. However, for anyone to take me seriously, I have to watch the cleavage factor. Funny how we celebrate big boobs, but when we have them, we’re encouraged to cover them up. I. Can’t. Win.

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Sleeping Comfortably. On my back? Nope. I will suffocate myself. On my side? My boobs smash together. On my stomach? I need to place a pillow just the right way so I don’t feel like I’m being squeezed.

So ladies and gentlemen, wish for large boobs. I get it. They look fabulous! However, I can do with a little less va-va voom and more comfort! Here’s to my Big Boob Girls, “hang in there!”

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Until next time!

Love, laughter, and shoes –

xo Melanie.