For many of my friends, Coming Out Day is a time to celebrate their authentic selves. To not hide who they truly are. Being proud to say they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. I am proud to be a supporter of their celebration!
For me, Coming Out Day is so much more than this. Many of us are “closeted” in some way. Afraid of not fitting in, fearful of ridicule and criticism. For a plus size woman as myself, the one thing I’ve kept closeted is my weight.
Not today. I am owning that as of this week, I am 217 pounds.
I am overweight. I accept this fact. I am aware that it’s not good for me to carry this excess weight on my frame. However, I am not going to be ashamed of myself.
I’m not defined by my weight. It has taken me years to get to this mindset, as I used to think I was fat, unattractive, and unworthy at 135 pounds. I thought, when I am 115, then I will be happy.
WEIGHT DOES NOT CREATE HAPPINESS! When I was in my size 2/4 days, on the outside I seemed happy. In reality, those were some of the most anxious, self doubting days of my life. I believed that if I gained weight, people would stop taking me seriously.
The thing is, now, I know I need to shed some weight to avoid becoming diabetic, taking pressure off my lower back, and decrease my risk of a heart attack. I am proud to say I am taking steps in the right direction to address these factors.
Weight goes up and down. My attitude and love for who I am should not be attached to what the scale says.
Own who you are. There’s only one YOU, so celebrate!
Love, laughter, and shoes-