The past couple of months have been filled with lots of changes, ups and downs, and a recent health scare. I’m a pretty resilient person, however, this latest episode has brought the worst visitor in my life, the What If.
Two days ago, I was trying to pick up some larger pieces of cardboard all at once. My footing slipped, and suddenly a HUGE shot of pain ripped down my right leg. I gasped, and I fell forward. Flashes of what happened to me the last time this happened filled my mind. I ended up having back surgery; I prayed it wouldn’t be the same fate.
One visit to the ER and a shot for pain later, I was on the mend again. Thankfully after taking it easy for a day, I felt fine again.
But the question now lingers, “what if?”
I am hoping that this episode was a freak occurrence with my sciatica, but WHAT IF it happens again when…
we go for a hike
swim in the ocean
dance in my kitchen
pick up my cat?
I don’t like this visitor, Mr. What If. Living fearlessly pursuing my goals is important to me. To second guess or be scared of trying is something I do not want to begin doing.
Accepting that nerve damage has changed some things for me has been difficult. However, I need to keep Mr. What If quiet so I can focus on the things I CAN and WANT to do.
Like rocking a free dress from Airman’s Attic and going on a date with the Hubby, for instance:) Thought I’d try some dark grey and violet shadow for a new smoky eye, too.
Breaking away from fear isn’t easy. However, I will not live my life running from it. So, bring it, Mr. What If.
What If….I do everything I dream of? Here’s hoping.
Until next time –
Love, laughter, and shoes –